The glamorous life

I've been told that my girlfriends and I live like glamour girls. I hope whoever said that meant it in the context of an apparently-exorbitant lifestyle and not in the whore kind of way. Since blogging requires momentum and I've clearly lost mine in the past week of last-minute panic before my first examination this year, I figured I should write about just anything I can think of before the inertia completely sets in, so I'm going to record the trivialities as I go along, and you'll be able to live vicariously through my words life as a Shirley for one day and decide how much glamour in there there is for yourself...

9:10am
My emotional uterus made for a shitty start of the day - girls know what I mean, and trust me boys, you don't want to know. Cheered myself up by stealing the last seat on the minibus from the lady in front of me. Hahaha! WIN!

9:15am
Karma couldn't have bitten me right in the butt more quickly. Just realised I've been reading the wrong timetable, and that class isn't until 11. Words cannot express my current despair - I could've slept in for two more hours omg fml.

9:30am
Caught Lorraine at Starbucks. We are observing an obese lady slather her cheese croissant with a second lump of butter. Yes taxpayers, this is where your money goes to - to patients who could really use more discipline with their health, and to medical students who spend studying time watching people eat.

11:40am
Our lecturer today is called Antoinette. As in let-them-eat-cake Antoinette. Would love a red velvet right now to go with my latte. I'm so sad about Starbucks' last day tomorrow. There is no reception in this seminar room. Douglas is playing chess with himself on his phone.

12:10nn
Things just got more interesting. Here are some of the things I learnt:

• Sigmund Freud believed that charging atrocious consultation fees helps establish professionalism. Sounds legit.
• Many medical students have Type A personalities, i.e. we are competitive, multi-tasking bitches. This also makes us prone to developing coronary heart disease.
• According to Freud, that was an unconscious wet dream you had last night if it had anything to do with apples, cigarettes, churches, trees (yes, even trees), walking into a room or taking an escalator/airplane.
• While everyone interpreted a certain Rorschach inkblot to be a CT scan, I thought it looked like the female reproductive system. Either my sexual mind is more pre-conscious than everyone else's, or I don't study hard enough. It is likely both.
• The way guys act today may be attributed to their childhood fears (that they don't remember, of course) of being castrated by their own fathers.
• Sublimation is a maladaptive coping mechanism whereby someone channels their unacceptable impulses to admirable acts. It is therefore logical for me to deduce that Mother Teresa may have saved so many children because she had unconscious paedophilia.

2:00pm
Finally done with the first session of psychotherapy teaching. Things seem to be interesting enough - there are a million ways to ridicule Sigmund's (I've quoted this guy so much that I feel like we should be on first-name basis, hell yeah) concepts of id/ego/superego by applying them to every conscious and unconscious decision we make ('why are you teasing me - are you still fixated in your oral-aggressive phase because you were never breastfed properly?') - but why does the timetable have to be so. damned. full. I never thought I'd say this, but I may miss orthopaedics a little, tiny bit.

2:10pm
My day is far from ending (hello, site visit to psychiatric rehab centre), but this post has reached a decent length, and I need my afternoon nap. Besides, you can probably extrapolate from this point and conclude that there is, in fact, nothing glamorous about my life. Psychiatry definitely makes for interesting blogging material, so you are welcome to give me a nudge if the posts don't keep coming. Oops, innuendo right there.