How to be a lady...

...bird.

Decided to throw out a short post while detoxing, one of my favourite ways to do which is to let sit a bulgarian rose mask on my face while listening to Rachmaninov's Concerto No. 2. My favourite rendition will have to be Lang Lang's - it's like winter on steroids.

My mind has the tendency to go off on a tangent. Anyway, I dressed up as a ladybird for Halloween this year. Or ladybug, if you spell colour without the u and get your re's mixed up with er's. Here's how I improvised my costume. Quick, easy and very economical - everything I saved by forgoing the skanky French maid costume will contribute to more overpriced shoes.

1) You will need a piece of black felt, scissors, double-sided tape.

2) Cut out different sized circles using round objects for reference. They do not need to be perfect. You are not Archimedes.

 

3) Keep cutting out felt circles as if working in a sweat factory. I ended up with about thirty, but it depends on how spotty you want to be/how much surface area needs to be covered.

4) Find a red dress or fake a jumpsuit like I did with a red top and shorts. Attach circles with double-tape. Be roughly symmetrical. Remember to do the back as well.

5) You should be able to achieve the makeup with products you already have. Eyes: use a pink lipstick on the outer corner as a base, and top with blusher. Pop some white shadow in the inner corner. Put a few dots along your crease with black liner. Practice the look before the actual day, because more likely than not you will mess up the first time.

Insert narcissistic self-shot

6) The whole process should take less than two hours, unless you have two left hands. Hope you had a fantastic Halloween!

P.S. For those who clicked into the post looking for advice on how to be an actual lady, my tips are to 1) never poop; and 2) drink tea with your pinky sticking out.